back in 2007 something happened and I felt guilt which I guess is what they call “survivors guilt”. For months I felt it should have been me. After all, I had nothing going for me. its 4 years later and I still feel that it should have been me. Even tho I have stuff going for me now I still feel like i’m a waste. If our fates had been switched that night and I was the one who died then I know he would have done something with his life. I’m 6 years out of high school, hoping to finally start college, and sick of the fact that I live at home. I have the craving to kill myself tonight but I won’t. I won’t because of a few reasons, but the main reason I won’t do it is because I refuse to let his death not mean anything. I got to keep on living, I HAVE to make something of my life. I just hope I don’t let him down.